Tell Me Why
by IzzyLawliet69
Summary: Sasuke and Naruto have been dating for a while, when Naruto finds out that Sasuke has been cheating for the past year. Naruto can't handle the pain of his parents' death and of his only love cheating on him, and ends up in the hospital. Yaoi. SasuNaru.


**Authoress' Note: SASUNARU FOREVER BIOTCH! Anywho, this story contains YAOI (that means BOY ON BOY LURVIN') so DON'T LIKE DON'T READ. This is really only SasuNaru (some parts are pretty sad…), but there is hinted SasuSai, NOT that I like that pairing. I mean, who would? Ick. SasuNaru foreeeever! :D  
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**Also, I will probably add a second chapter. I'm planning on it, at least. It will be a lemon, and then a little more story. I don't think this will be an actual long multi-chaptered fic, but who knows? It may be one day! So stay tuned!**

**Reviews please!**

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><p>"How could you, Sasuke?" a distressed voice cried over the soft notes drifting from two large speakers placed strategically in the corner of a brooding teenager's bedroom.<p>

Dark, almost black, unconcerned eyes rose from the words printed on shiny white paper of an open biology textbook. Ocean-sapphire eyes glistened in obvious sadness and hurt. Turning his attention back to his book, Sasuke addressed his boyfriend, "I have no idea what you're talking about."

The heavy book in his hands was yanked away from his grasp, his eyes hardening in sudden anger. Confusion lay behind the ebony irises, hidden from sight. Naruto looked at him, fury in his intense glare. The blonde's brow was knit closely together, wrinkles etched into his forehead. "You know damn well what I'm talking about!" he shouted, throwing Sasuke's textbook across the room. The thing landed with a too-loud thud on the hardwood floor. Pages crinkled from the sudden force, leaving creases and the occasional rip Sasuke knew he couldn't lie his way out of.

"That will cost me money, Naruto," Sasuke said calmly, rising from his overstuffed bean bag chair nestled into a cluttered corner of his room. "Tell me why you're throwing a fit or just leave."

"Why are you cheating on me?" Naruto asked, his face melting from the stern fierceness of pure anger bubbling within him to melancholy and utter confusion. "I know. You've played me. For so long, Sasuke. You've cheated on me—with _him _of all people. I trusted you, Sasuke. I…" the blonde trailed off, not sure how to put into words all he was feeling. "I loved you, teme! And you ripped my heart out and stomped on it! What kind of idiot do you take me for?" he shouted, stepping dangerously closer to his boyfriend—his cheater of a boyfriend.

Sasuke's eyes widened in shock, fear, and something akin to guilt. How had Naruto found out? He made sure to hide every little detail from his boyfriend—from everyone—so_ how_? Out of the two years they'd been together, he'd managed to hide his dirty little secret for over a year. All of that for Naruto to find out anyway. "I still don't know what you're talking about."

"Don't play stupid!" Naruto managed between clenched teeth. His fingers curled into harsh fists at his sides, his nails digging into the soft flesh of his palm. "Am I not enough for you? Just tell me why, Sasuke! What does he have that I don't? Tell me that!"

A growl escaped Sasuke's throat. He stepped even closer to Naruto so that their noses were almost touching. Minty breath puffed against his cheeks as he leaned in and said lowly, hoarsely, "Why do you want to know why I picked him over you? What would you gain from that? You'd only end up more hurt."

Suddenly, Naruto pulled away from Sasuke. His back touched the cold wall behind him. He jumped slightly at the abrupt contact. A numbing chill came from the hard wall behind him as the frosty feeling seeped through the thin material of his shirt. Burning tears formed in his eyes. Quickly, hoping Sasuke wouldn't notice, he blinked rapidly to rid himself of such a girlish show of emotion. Taking deep, calming breaths, he lowered his head. Blue eyes were barely visible under the golden strands of his stringy bangs as he gazed longingly at Sasuke. "I want to understand what I did wrong."

Sasuke's hard stare softened at Naruto's quiet confession. The dobe hadn't done anything wrong, nothing at all. It was Sasuke's stupid insecurities that led him to believe he needed to have a plan—a backup—for when Naruto realized Sasuke wasn't good enough for him, that he was too much of a bastard for an angel sent from heaven. But it was more than that. It was something deeper, something darker, held in his heart, in his mind. He had been driven by lust, over and over, time and time again. He'd been sucked into the blissful oblivion that came with the hot touches, the wet kisses, the daily sex. The need inside him had been steadily building for months, years, until, finally, Naruto came to his senses. Even then, Naruto refused to do more than chaste kissing and the occasional—very occasional—make-out sessions. The little demon inside Naruto would tease him, test him, and then leave him hanging with a raging want blocked from the light of day.

He was selfish, and he knew it.

He'd messed up the one great thing in his life, simply thrown it away as if it was a used tissue.

_And all for what?_, he asked himself. In the end, he ended up with nothing. Naruto lost all faith in him, he was certain. Sai, as needy as Sasuke, would provide him with nothing other than the physical part of a relationship. Sasuke needed support, as much as he hated to admit it. He needed someone.

And Naruto was perfect, too perfect, too good for his hardhearted demeanor.

"Why? Why, Sasuke? Why, why, why?" Naruto sobbed desperately, having lost all minute shreds of hope at Sasuke's icy silence. He slid down the wall he was resting against, his shirt riding up to reveal a small patch of golden-bronze skin of his lower back. A lone salty drop spilled over his eyelid before making its journey down the soft contours of his cheekbones, further down to the point of his chin, and further still to the slight dip in his collarbone showing beneath his half-unbuttoned dress shirt.

"Dobe…" Sasuke whispered. Stepping closer to the shaking form of his boyfriend—was he still?—the raven-haired teenager reached out a hand. Comfortingly, he patted Naruto's shoulder.

"Don't touch me!" Naruto shouted, looking up at Sasuke from beneath damp bangs. "Not after you touched him!"

A sigh escaped Sasuke's lungs. Fingers threaded in his hair as he ran a hand through his dark locks. "You did nothing wrong," he said blankly, chastely.

"Then why did you do it?" Naruto accused, never once looking up from the floor. Making sure to keep his gaze focused on the scuffed toes of his shoes, the blonde rose to his feet slowly. "You even moved schools so that I wouldn't find out. You didn't call me at night. You never texted me first. You never sent me an email or two, just so that I knew you were still alive. I should've known. I always knew you were an asshole. I guess I put too much faith in you."

Sasuke stayed silent, allowing Naruto time to express himself completely and without interruption.

"I gave my heart to you, Sasuke. You didn't ever say 'I love you' back to me. You made sure to keep your distance, until you could let your hands molest me! Were you just in it for sex? Is that why you moved on to Sai? Because I wouldn't give my virginity to you? How shallow are you, Sasuke? I don't even know you anymore!" Naruto sank to the immaculately clean floor once more. He held his head in his hands. Tears cascaded down his face, one after another, in an endless stream of sorrow. He should've known, he should've known, _he should've known. _Yet, he found his ignorance to be bliss. Anything was better than the heartache and betrayal he felt in that moment.

Sasuke stayed still, not once making a sound. Words whirled around in his head, but he couldn't find the right thing to say. Finally, he knew just what had to be done. "You never knew me," he murmured, just loud enough for Naruto to hear. Without the slightest hesitation cerulean orbs met his eyes. "You followed me around like a helplessly lost puppy. I never loved you. All this time, you've been stuck in the fantasy land inside your head. Just leave, Naruto. I don't want you here. I don't want to see your face."

That was perhaps the most he'd ever heard Sasuke say at one time, even after knowing him for so long. It struck a chord in him that it had to be those words that came from that mouth he'd been in love with for years. Any attempt at defending the dysfunctional relationship they'd shared, Naruto knew, would be futile. Once Sasuke made his mind up, there was no changing it. After years of trying to break Sasuke, to sneak past the steely exterior the raven insisted he always hold around him, he was just… done. Done. Done with Sasuke, with love, with life.

"I really loved you, Sasuke. I still do, despite my mind telling me I shouldn't. I can't help it. I hate you, Sasuke. I really really do. I _hate you._"

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><p><em>I hate you.<em>

_ I hate you. _

_ I __**hate you.**_

The words echoed in his mind until he thought he would explode.

He'd convinced himself that he didn't care about the dobe, but his words hurt him. His chest constricted when he realized it. Maybe he had had feelings for the blonde—it couldn't be true, he reassured himself. There was nothing he wanted to do with Naruto.

_Don't lie to yourself. You love him._

Sasuke scoffed aloud to himself. He twisted his hair between his forefinger and thumb, thinking. Why had he started cheating on Naruto? He was the one that asked the blonde out in the first place, right? He was the one that had fawned over the blue-eyed beauty, secretly of course, for years before he finally found the courage to confess his feelings. Even then, he never gave himself up, not completely.

He was afraid.

Afraid that, when Naruto saw into his heart, Naruto would see the depth of his love for the dobe and run; that, after Sasuke gave his soul to him, Naruto would sense every flaw Sasuke had and leave him. Sasuke couldn't take that kind of chance, not ever. Especially not with someone so special to him.

His fear of such rejections—though, deep down, he knew Naruto was not that shallow—led him astray: right into the greedy hands of Sai.

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><p><em>Rough fingers brushed against his lower lip as he took a step away from his look-alike, his back hitting the wall suddenly too close for comfort. "What about your precious Naruto?" the teen's deep voice asked, sarcasm lurking beneath his otherwise bland tone. <em>

_ "He doesn't give me what I want," Sasuke whispered huskily. Gaining bravery, he raised his inky black eyes to meet equally dark orbs. _

_ The two stared at each other for several silent, heavy moments before chapped lips met chapped lips in a duel for dominance._

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><p>Begrudgingly, Sasuke remembered his first time with Sai. He'd been so desperate. His pride had taken a huge hit that day, but it was worth it.<p>

_Was it really?_

No, it wasn't, he chastised himself. He lost Naruto, the only good thing to have ever happened to him.

The only person to turn his heart of black into something warm, something akin to a loving heart, was ripped away from him by his own mistakes.

_Naruto isn't looking like such a dobe now, is he?_

A shrill, too-loud ringing broke Sasuke out of his stupor. He sighed, brushing his bangs out of his face harshly. He searched blindly for his cell phone on his bedside table. Several random papers flew off the tabletop in his search for his seemingly missing phone. Finally, after the annoying ringtone blasted for what seemed like hours, the small rectangular shape of his cellphone touched his fingers. Grasping the object tightly, Sasuke flipped open his phone and put the thing against his ear.

"Hello?" he growled out, still frustrated beyond belief.

"Sasuke?" a breathless voice asked.

Sasuke, at a loss as to whose voice it was on the other end of the line, pulled his phone away from his face. He read the caller ID.

_Naruto?_

Trying desperately to keep his breathing even, he replied, this time more calmly, "Hn."

"It's Kiba," the other voice said. "Naruto… he…"

A million thoughts, all of them negative, filled Sasuke's mind at Kiba's deflated tone. "What's wrong with Naruto?" Sasuke bit out, no longer caring what Kiba thought of his being rude.

"He's… in the hospital."

After nearly dropping his phone in shock, Sasuke sat straight up in his bed, eyes wide with fear. "Why? What happened?" Before Kiba could respond, the raven stood up, grabbing his shoes, keys, and jacket.

"I came to check on him after he didn't show up at the arcade when he said he would. He was in his apartment, in the bathtub… Sasuke, there's no easy way to say this," Kiba explained, but not fully.

At that point, Sasuke was out of his house, in his car, the engine rumbling under the hood. "Just tell me what happened, dog breath."

"He was passed out. He had an empty bottle of aspirin in his hand." Sadness dripped from Kiba's voice as he told Sasuke about Naruto's ordeal.

Sasuke, in his immediate sorrow and regret, nearly swerved off the road. A car behind him honked loudly. He said nothing.

Kiba went on, "He left a note before he—" the voice on the other end cut off for a moment. A choked sob came out through Sasuke's end as Kiba tried hard not to cry. "He wanted you to know, that he… you know. He didn't want you to find out by someone else."

"Read me the note."

"I don't think I should," Kiba replied calmly, seriously.

"Read me the damned note, Kiba." The fact that he used Kiba's name shocked both of them; neither said anything about it.

"'Sasuke,'" Kiba started, "'you're a bastard, you know?'"

Sasuke couldn't help but chuckle darkly. Even when Naruto was about to—_don't say it, don't admit it—_he had time to insult Sasuke, albeit with playfulness in his tone.

"'But I still loved you. I still—"

"Wait." Sasuke pulled into the parking lot of the hospital, looking through the glass doors to see Kiba standing in the lobby. "Let me read it for myself."

Kiba said nothing on the other end, having seen Sasuke pull up in his car. A small smile graced the brunette's face. Maybe Uchiha wasn't that bad after all.

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><p><em>Sasuke,<em>

The raven read. Tears already began welling in his eyes from seeing Naruto's messy handwriting scrawled on the clean white paper. He blinked the salty drops away, his pride preventing him from doing such a thing as crying like a love-sick school girl in public.

_You're a bastard, you know? But I still loved you. I still love you. Even right now, when I'm gone. Because if you're reading this, I've already killed myself. And before you get all cocky about you being the only thing that led me to do this—don't. You're not. A lot of things have been happening lately, and I wanted to tell you about them. But Sai was in the picture, and I lost all trust in you. _

_ My parents. They died, last week, in a car crash. I've been staying with one of my dad's friends, Iruka, since then. I guess that was really the last straw. At least, that's what led up to me truly breaking down. _

_ I would've told you. In fact, I was going to. I was going to call you, right then and there, after the police called me informing me of their deaths. A text from Sakura told me. She told me all about you and Sai. I don't know how she found out, but she knew, and she told me. _

_ I didn't believe her. But then, I didn't really believe that you were all that innocent either. _

_ I felt alone._

_ I went to the hospital, only to have the doctors in their white coats tell me my parents died, that they couldn't do anything to save them. _

_ I still went to school. I still saw you. I avoided you, even though you probably didn't notice. It's not like you went out of your way to try to see me anyway. _

_ Then, I overheard Sai say something to one of his stoner buddies in the courtyard at school this morning. He was bragging—about being able to fuck you, about having fucked you, about you being submissive and everything. I ran to Sakura. I cried. _

_ I cried over the biggest bastard I've ever known. _

_ And then—you know what happened next. _

_ Hearing that it was actually true from someone that was there—that tore me apart from the inside out. And then when I confronted you about it, you didn't really deny it. And when you did, the truth was in your eyes, Sasuke. You don't hide as much as you think you do. Anyway, you just—I don't know how you did it. How you managed to keep it away from me, and for so long. _

_ None of that matters now. _

_ I'm gone, you're free to let Sai fuck you all night, and I'll meet my parents in Heaven. I won't ever see you again, Sasuke. Never. Not ever, and I'm elated. _

_ I still love you._

_ And I know you love me too. _

_ This is goodbye, Sasuke._

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><p>"I hate you for doing what you did," a sullen voice called from a few feet behind Sasuke.<p>

Sasuke turned around, inky black hair falling in his face. Tear streaks stained his porcelain cheeks. He couldn't help but let the tears fall, not after reading what Naruto thought of him. Sasuke's dark eyes looked at Kiba, but never really saw him. He didn't want to admit that any of this was real. It was just a dream. Tomorrow, he'd go back to cheating on Naruto. Tomorrow, he'd see Naruto's bright blue eyes lit up in happiness. Tomorrow, he'd go to school, where everything will be just as fucked up as it always has been.

He said nothing to Kiba in response, merely nodded before sitting, defeated, in one of the hard blue plastic chairs in the hospital lobby.

"Did you love him?" Kiba asked suddenly.

Still, nothing.

Kiba looked at Sasuke, pity burning in his caramel irises. "He really did love you, you know. He never stopped talking about you. And you just threw it all away—"

"I know!" Sasuke shouted, standing up from his seat abruptly. Several people in the lobby, most of them behind the reception desk, glared at Sasuke for his sudden outburst. Their hard gazes were wasted as Sasuke continued in his tirade. "I know, okay? What I did was stupid. I hate myself for it! Is that what you want to hear, dog breath? I took the only good thing in my life and let it slip away! I know! I fucked up! I—" Sasuke caught himself before he could finish his statement—his declaration. Was he really about to admit that he…

Sympathy crossed Kiba's soft gaze. "You love him, don't you?"

Sasuke stayed silent, sitting once more.

"Excuse me, gentlemen?" a strange man in a white coat asked the two gently. "You are here to see Mr. Uzumaki, correct?" When Kiba nodded at the doctor, he man went on, "Well, he'll be just fine. We had his stomach pumped. He just woke up. Would you like to see him?"

Kiba followed after the doctor like a lost puppy, happy that his friend would be alright. Sasuke, though, stayed behind, staring at the ground. "Yo, Sasuke, you comin'?"

Black eyes rose to meet Kiba's brown orbs. "Yeah," he said simply.

Sasuke got up and walked a few yards behind Kiba and the doctor as the trio made their way down the long, too long, hallway, lost in his own thoughts. When the doctor stopped in front of an open doorway, the raven ran into the man's back. No apologies were exchanged.

"Kiba…" a small voice called quietly, just loud enough for Sasuke to hear as he entered the stark white hospital room. Dead, dull blue eyes looked from the brunette to Sasuke. A sad smile graced Naruto's too-pale face as he looked at Sasuke. "Sasu."

"I should… I'll leave you two alone," Kiba murmured before leaving the suddenly tense room, even though his heart told him to stay and protect Naruto from getting hurt any further.

Sasuke stared at Naruto. He spoke not. So many things he wanted—needed—to say. The words were stuck in his throat. A lump formed around those unfinished words. He swallowed dryly. His eyes were stuck on the prone form of his—.

His what? What were they?

The beeping of the heart rate machine was steady, a thin red line creating odd angles on the backlit screen. An IV was stabbed and taped into Naruto's left arm. A small tube was forced into Naruto's nose, feeding his body oxygen. A pale green hospital gown drooped off Naruto's shoulders. A thin sheet covered the blonde's bottom half. Fluorescent lights hung overhead, glaringly bright. The brightness only accentuated the blinding white of the bland hospital room.

It all made Sasuke want to cry.

"_I'm sorry_," Sasuke wanted to say. But he couldn't. _'Sorry'_ wouldn't be enough, would it?

_Nothing will ever be enough._

"It's not your fault," Naruto spoke suddenly, his voice shaky.

Sasuke's gaze snapped to meet Naruto's instantly. "Yes, it is. I… I hurt you."

Another sorrowful smile plastered itself to Naruto's face. "As long as you get what you want, right?"

There were so many things wrong with this picture, Sasuke thought. Naruto was smiling while he was practically on his _death bed._ He wasn't blaming Sasuke, when it was obvious it _was_ his fault.

Sasuke didn't know what to say. He mulled over his words, before finally saying boldly, "I want you."

He didn't use many words, but Naruto's heart melted all over again anyway. "You don't mean that."

"I do," Sasuke quipped.

"If you did, you wouldn't have gone to Sai," Naruto pointed out.

Sasuke sighed, taking a seat in the chair placed a few feet from Naruto's bedside. The urge to grab Naruto's hand was almost too hard to ignore.

"I'm right and we both know it." Naruto looked longingly at Sasuke before turning his stare away from the boy that ripped his heart out and tore it into a million shreds.

"I know," Sasuke whispered.

But Naruto still heard. "Why did you do it, Sasuke?"

The raven ran a pale hand through his hair. He lowered his head into his hands as his elbows rested on his knees. A groan nearly escaped his mouth, but he stopped it before the sign of distress could make itself known. "I don't know," he mumbled.

"There has to be a reason!" Naruto nearly shouted at the defeated boy. "Just tell me why, Sasuke!"

"Fine! You want to know why, Naruto?" Sasuke growled his name between gritted teeth. "I didn't know I love you! I felt it, but I denied it. I didn't _want _to love you. You did it—you made me fall in love with you, idiot. I couldn't stand feeling that way toward anyone, especially not _you_."

"Y-you… you love me?" Naruto stuttered, shocked.

"Yes!" Sasuke stood from his chair and walked closer to Naruto's bed so that his knees touched the frail material of the cheap hospital sheet. "I'm in love with you, Naruto Uzumaki, and I hate you for it."

"S-Sasuke…" Naruto raised a hand, caressing Sasuke's face in his calloused palm. "I had no idea…"

"Of course you didn't, dobe," Sasuke said softly and without malice, turning his face away from Naruto so the blonde couldn't see his flushed cheeks.

Naruto sighed and pulled his hand away from Sasuke's porcelain face. Sasuke, missing the warmth that came from the blonde's hand, reached down and intertwined their fingers. A chuckle passed Naruto's lips. "Why Sai?"

Uncomfortable talking about it, Sasuke shrugged. "He was more than willing."

A frown tugged at Naruto's lips. A moment lapsed in which neither spoke. "Sasuke," Naruto said, his voice unsure. "You didn't… sleep with Sai… because I wouldn't, did you?" He dragged out his words as if having to think twice before voicing his question.

"I'm a healthy teenage boy, Naruto." Sasuke grimaced at how harsh that sounded. "I… It wasn't really because you wouldn't. I just… I don't know, Naruto. Maybe it was because you wouldn't sleep with me."

Naruto pulled his hand away from Sasuke's, choosing to twiddle his thumbs instead. His head was bowed as he said, "We can, if you want us to."

A warm hand cupped his chin and tilted his head so that he had a view of endless black orbs. "We aren't doing anything you don't want to."

"But Sasu—"

Sasuke touched a finger to the blonde's lips to silence him. "My hand will do just fine."

Naruto flushed lightly at what Sasuke had insinuated. He tried to avert his gaze. Every time he did, Sasuke would jerk his chin just enough for Naruto to get the hint. So he held the raven's warm gaze as he said, "I want you to make love to me, Sasuke."

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><p><strong>Authoress' Note: DUN DUN DUN! DRAMA! As I said before, this WILL be continued, so please please stay tuned.<strong>

**Reviews por favor? **

**Ja ne! :3**


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